Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Not my first time

This isn't the first blog I've ever created.  I've created a few in the past 4 years, they just haven't really stuck.

My biological mother found the first one I created (I can't link to that one, it has my real name in the address - stupid move for someone who wanted to stay anonymous, right?).  She never admitted to finding it, but it's kind of hard to ignore the stats that someone from her town is obsessively checking for an update.  I stopped posting to that one because I wasn't comfortable with her knowing everything that I was going through in regards to meeting her for the first time, and all of the feelings that went along with that.  Also, I kind of felt resentful.  Kind of like "why should she get to share in my private thoughts when she didn't even want me to be a part of her life to begin with."

So, I started another blog.  That one didn't stick either.  This time it was mainly because I lost momentum due to the change and stopped writing.  And, because the free Wordpress account wouldn't let me do some things that blogger would. 

So, I started a third blog.  That one I had to stop posting on because my husband found it.  He doesn't understand why anyone blogs, let alone me.  So, I layed off the blogging for a while.

That's when I started this one.  I'm hoping I've made it anonymous enough that people I don't want to find it won't find it.  Or, if they do, I'm at a point in my life that I don't care.  It's not that I want to say things on this blog that would be hurtful to them, it's just that I'm a pretty introverted person and don't really want the people in my life judging me for what I'm feeling when I write.

Why am I telling you all of this?  I'm telling you this because it's possible you were a reader of one of the other blogs.  If that's the case, some of the things I write on here might seem like a story you've heard before.  I don't want you to think I'm taking someone elses life and making it my own - trust me, no one would want my life it's pretty pathetic.

So, if I know you from the past drop me line and let me know.  If you haven't read any of my other blogs, drop me a line and let me know that too.  I'd like to know who I'm talking to out there.

1 comment:

Issas Crazy World said...

Hi! Can't tell on my phone if I've read the other blogs, but I understand this. My step-monster I mean uh step-mom found my first one. Quit for 18 months that time.

Anyway I get it. :)