At the end of August, Mr. Commoner and I will be married for 13 years. That entire time has been spent living in the United States. We have a good life here. We both have jobs. We own a house and investment property. Our kids have friends here. The weather is nice.
So, why change now?
I have no family here. Oh sure, my parents and brother are still alive but....it's complicated. I haven't spoken to my parents in almost 3 years. My brother has been out of the picture for 21 years. I'm not even sure if I'm going to let any one of them know when we move, that's how bad the relationships are.
Most of Mr. Commoner's family lives in England. We've tried to get his parents to move here, but that has been a fruitless effort. And then last summer happened.
Last year, the day after Father's Day, I received a phone call at work from my husband. He seemed...off. Finally he admitted that he had taken a shitload of pills and was scared. That was the worst, and scariest, moment of my life. I rushed home to see a fire truck pulled up to the front of my house. At the hospital, we were able to figure out that he had taken 26 pills of Tylenol PM and 5 pills of Vicodin. The hospital staff wasn't sure what state my husband would be left in since we didn't know how long before he called me he had ingested the pills. They weren't even sure he was going to wake up. Thankfully, there has been no lasting damage.
Did I know he was suffering that bad? Absolultely not. Did I think something was up? Sure. We both had our problems, but at the time I had no idea his were of the depressive sort. I just assumed it was money and sex - a lack of both.
While he was still in the hospital, his mother moved heaven and earth to fly to the United States to be with him, me, and to help take care of the kids.
I never want to go through that again. I never want to have to make that phone call again. I never want to be the only one watching my husband to make sure he doesn't need an adjustment in his meds.
So, that's why we're moving. That and, the kids will love being closer to their only grandparents.
I hope it happens soon.